You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
