I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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