look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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