oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
