We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
