Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
