you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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