Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
