Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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