Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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