i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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