That's intense
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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