fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you would pick up someone in the library
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
