toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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