After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
