just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Mom said you looked used
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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