I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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