I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
