he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
