dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
