no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
