I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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