Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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