He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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