He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
