So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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