Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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