That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
