Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
