remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
