if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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