I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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