Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Is that strawberry winking at me??
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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