Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
