Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
