On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i was born a porn star she said
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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