doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
