barbara walters just said penis...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
