just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
