hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
