I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
