piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
