Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
