from now on my penis is your penis
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize