ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
