My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
