haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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