im having a threesome with these popsicles
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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