Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
