I wish my penis had an off switch
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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