dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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