I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
