i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
