I must be too annoying 4 u.
we made out on top of his cat.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
