Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
