on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize