I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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