NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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