Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
