Pappa wants mamma naked
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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