wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
