hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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