We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And then my night got REAL pukey
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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