I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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